AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
DOCTOR: "What brings you to a place like this?" *looks around his office in mock disdain*

ME: "I am getting over some manner of plague---I'm pretty sure it was the flu, or at least a really bad cold---and am not allowed to return to work until I have confirmation from a doctor that I'm no longer contagious. They're really paranoid, because I was where swine flu was on Friday and Saturday, and they don't want swine flu to be where they are."

DOCTOR: "Bah, we have swine flu HERE. We just don't care. It's the flu. We don't even test for it anymore, except in hospitals. As for you being contagious, flu viruses have 2-3 week incubation periods, and you're contagious that entire time..."

ME: *blinks, thinking she read somewhere that flu viruses have a 12-hour to 5-day incubation period and that you're only contagious for one day before you're symptomatic*

DOCTOR: "...So by the time you start showing symptoms you'll have already spread it around to everyone anyway."

ME: "But I'd still be contagious while I have a fever, right?"

DOCTOR: "DO you have a fever?"

ME: *wonders what the purpose of sending a nurse in first to take all those readings is if the doctor is not aware of them* "I didn't have one at home a half hour ago. But your nurse says I now have a fever of 99.5. Which is strange..."

DOCTOR: *dismissively* "That doesn't count."

ME: "Cool! Can I have my return to work slip then?"

DOCTOR: *brings one*



ON THE PHONE WITH BY BOSS
ME: "Hi. So, I just finished up at the doctor's office. He says I'm no longer contagious, even with a low fever, and so can return to work."

BOSS: "Low fever?"

ME: "Really low."

BOSS: "Just to be safe, I'd prefer you wait until tomorrow to come in to work. Drink lots of juice and feel better."



AT HOME
ME: "I think someone's lying to me..." *gets thermometer*

THERMOMETER: "97.6"

ME: "I fucking KNEW it."



IN RELATED NEWS
My doctor seemed utterly disinterested in the question of whether or not it's swine flu. I just want to be able to SAY it is, damn it. You know... legitimately.

And now I can! Smokie's doc says that symptoms, timing, etc for the flu virus he has all match up to swine flu. That's about the closest to a confirmation one is going to get outside of a hospital setting. And since I GAVE it to him...

Apparently my boss has the same question I do about when I am no longer contagious. Whereas I am content to assume no fever = not contagious, she has decided that I am not allowed to return to work until a doctor provides written authorization that I am no longer contagious.

Seriously?

Sigh. I am no longer feverish. My cough is pretty mild. I have barely any other lingering symptoms. So... I feel more than a little ridiculous going to the doctor at this point, although thankfully my insurance plan will cover the visit.

I was very pleased to have returned home from Seattle with cheese, tea, chocolate, a CD and various odds and ends from PAX.

I am most displeased to have returned home with the freaking flu. Luckily, I already feel better, though I'm still home from work with a fever, but never having had the flu before, I'm a little irked that I finally managed to catch it at all. I thought I was invincible, damn it!

But wait, it gets better.

You've got to be kidding me, Seattle. I do not have the telltale symptoms (normal flu + stomach problems). But still...

Now the question is... How long before I'm safe to return to work without having to worry about sharing my little scrap of protein-encapsulated-RNA with everyone at the office? Google cannot seem to decide. Some sites say I'll no longer be contagious as soon as my fever is gone... or 24 hours after the fever is gone... or up to seven days after the fever is gone...

SEVEN DAYS? Ye gods, I hope not. Much as I'd be delighted to take another week off of work after having had all of last week off for vacation, and half (so far) of this week off because of Labor Day and then being sick, somehow I do not think work will appreciate having me gone for another solid week. I'm not worried that I'll be fired---they just invested a lot of time and energy in training me for a new position, and currently my manager is my backup because they can't find anyone else to fill my spot when I'm gone---but I hate having to leave my coworkers hanging, especially when we're so new to the responsibilities we've just been given that we're still figuring everything out and are horribly backed up. Abandoning them last week did not help at all, either.

Thank god today is Labor Day. Now I just have to hope that I do, in fact, have it off, because I'm most definitely not at work right now.

In the interest of drinking lots of liquids as recommended when one has a cold, I've been working my way through the three teas I purchased in a small Asian imports shop in Seattle. Nom. The place did not seem to be uber serious about the authenticity, but there were some pretty cool things there, such as the beautiful antique Bento Box I really wanted to buy but could not convince myself was a wise purchase. (I am now deeply regretting that decision... even though buying it would have meant that I needed to find somewhere to stash it away in my luggage.)

I forgot something that belongs on the WOOT list! The Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. Canisters of "Nitrogen" (78.08% pure), and carefully separated jars of Certainty and Uncertainty? Awesome. Teleporter in the rear of the store that leads to a tutoring program for young writers? Even better.

I'm still in Seattle (yay!) and will be returning tomorrow evening (yay!). Although tomorrow I will be relieved to be home again, where I can relax, I've been enjoying Seattle immensely and am already feeling a little homesick for it when I think of going back to Arizona. Oh well, paid vacations don't last forever, I'm very thankful I've been able to enjoy this one, and I will try not to resent the return to work and (worse) Arizona too much. Besides, coming home means I'll get to see Smokie and Marissa and my family and the poor, sad little cat again! Woo!

This is the first real opportunity I've had thus far to sit down for more than a half-hour on the computer. It's been constantly go-go-go, which is awesome... and exhausting. I know we haven't really stomped across the whole of Seattle, but we've sure as hell tried. We've been leaving within an hour of waking in the mornings (okay, early afternoons) and returning after midnight. For the first three days my legs were amazingly sore, and man... all those hills... wow. In between these outings, I've managed a few small exchanges on the collaborative writing projects I've got going online, and Steve and I managed to watch "Bladerunner" and "Metropolis" (pulled from the extensive, fantastic nerd-library at Kate&Aaron's place, where we've been staying). But beyond these brief breaks, we've been cramming as many experiences into the trip as possible.

But now Steve is out cold with a cold, and so I've got a chance to briefly type about what I've been up to here in Seattle.

THE WOOT:
-Pike's Marketplace
-Ferry ride to Bainbridge Island
-PAX: so many nerds in once place; concerts; panel on "video game violence and psychiatry"
-Cupcake Royale
-Ecological experiments (solar-powered trash compactors & street corner wi-fi spots, for instance)
-Fish at Ivar's
-Local businesses
-Strangely meaningful graffiti
-University District and the architecture of the university's buildings
-Trees! Awesome weather! Hills! Large bodies of water! Gray skies!
-Sooo many coffee shops
-Sooo many book stores
-Sooo many interesting places to eat
-Running into Christine's brother Josh, and watching him and Steve converse silently in gestures
-Random Morris Dancing at Gasworks Park
-The Bay at night from Gasworks Park
-The monorail, brief though the ride on it may have been
-Electric buses

THE MEH:
-Gasworks Park at night when it's too dark to see clearly
-PAX: panel on the "art of the dungeon master"
-The Erotic Bakery (No snacks to buy and eat after I walked up that hill? Bah!)
-The Experience Music Project and Science-Fiction Museum
-Buses
-Westwood Mall

THE BLAH:
-PAX: panel on why tabletop games are still awesome even in the age of video/computer games
-So many crazy people on the streets, the buses... WTF?
-Everything seems to close at 9pm
-No Krav Maga

I'm missing a lot, I think, but I can't remember anything else right now.

Tonight, we need to get checked into our flight tomorrow and print off our boarding passes. Also, I think it may be time to grab dinner. Waa!

Heeeeeey Smokie, this one's for you!

"For My Lover, Returning to His Wife"
Anne Sexton

She is all there.
She was melted carefully down for you
and cast up from your childhood,
cast up from your one hundred favorite aggies.

She has always been there, my darling.
She is, in fact, exquisite.
Fireworks in the dull middle of February
and as real as a cast-iron pot.

Let's face it, I have been momentary.
A luxury. A bright red sloop in the harbor.
My hair rising like smoke from the car window.
Littleneck clams out of season.

She is more than that. She is your have to have,
has grown you your practical your tropical growth.
This is not an experiment. She is all harmony.
She sees to oars and oarlocks for the dinghy,

has placed wild flowers at the window at breakfast,
sat by the potter's wheel at midday,
set forth three children under the moon,
three cherubs drawn by Michelangelo,

done this with her legs spread out
in the terrible months in the chapel.
If you glance up, the children are there
like delicate balloons resting on the ceiling.

She has also carried each one down the hall
after supper, their heads privately bent,
two legs protesting, person to person,
her face flushed with a song and their little sleep.

I give you back your heart.
I give you permission—

for the fuse inside her, throbbing
angrily in the dirt, for the bitch in her
and the burying of her wound—
for the burying of her small red wound alive—

for the pale flickering flare under her ribs,
for the drunken sailor who waits in her left pulse,
for the mother's knee, for the stockings,
for the garter belt, for the call—

the curious call
when you will burrow in arms and breasts
and tug at the orange ribbon in her hair
and answer the call, the curious call.

She is so naked and singular.
She is the sum of yourself and your dream.
Climb her like a monument, step after step.
She is solid.

As for me, I am a watercolor.
I wash off.

I've been asked what my rates are for writing a full-length screenplay. Which is interesting, considering I have never written a full-length screenplay (or more than 20 pages of screenplays total) in my life. Not, mind you, that I'm against the idea of trying. And I'm certainly not against the idea of being paid to try, except insofar as being contracted and paid obligates me to not only try, but to actually complete the work AND do a good job with it. But I haven't the foggiest notion how to go about placing a dollar value on my work. I suppose I could ask HIM to make ME an offer... but... again, there is that problem of determining how much my time and writing are worth. Bleah.

I feel as though I should be doing something. Working on a book. Doing volunteer work. Writing sermons. Considering grad schools. Working on scholarships. Something.

At least I lasted a full year before the restlessness started. I guess it's time to get to work.

Did you know Mother's Day was originally a day on which mothers and potential mothers were to stand up and demanded peace and justice, and NOT a day when children were to honor their mothers with flowers and "the perfect Mother's Day gift"?

It'd be great to see Mother's Day be both: Serve Mom breakfast in bed and flowers, then do a march together to support a cause that is important to her and to you. Afterward, take her out to lunch or dinner or a movie...

Mmm, red velvet bunny cake... with a shitload of red food coloring added to the frosting and the cake itself, just in case my coworkers don't get the idea when they are cutting a piece from the cute little rabbit with its pink bunny ears, whiskers, and tail.

Anyone going to the runway show tonight: Your names should be on the listan you can bring up to 2 people who are not on the list with you, so that you can get in for free. It's at Sangria Luxe Lounge.

Dear god, someone take these jelly beans away. So delicious... So pink...

This has been a somewhat long, but productive weekend. Yesterday was the Worship Associate retreat for the Valley Unitarian Universalist church. A fellow WA lent her house for the event, and we gathered for 5 hours for what was essentially a long meeting broken up by a one hour lunch of various fantastic foods (prepared by the WA who also made the food some of you have heard me complaining about missing out on because I ditched the choir retreat last Saturday) and a very brief hike to see some petroglyphs in the rock formations behind the house. The bulk of the meeting was focused upon transformational and intergenerational worship, the ways in which we can do a better job with both, and divvying up future services through June.

We have undergone budget cuts recently that have resulted in the loss of some of our professional leadership and the reduction of hours and/or pay for the rest of our staff. Our minister has also been affected, having been reduced from full to 3/4 time. This effectively entails not only a reduction in office hours, but also in leadership during services. She now gives sermons twice a month and is present in the pulpit once a month to deliver the pastoral prayer, welcome individuals at the door, do baby dedications, and so on. This is a mixed blessing because although it causes some anxiety in the congregation, who are accustomed to having a minister in the pulpit, it is also a great opportunity for the lay members of the church---including the Worship Associates but certainly not limited to us---to have an even greater voice.

For instance, I have been scheduled to lead a SECOND service in a three month period (we each usually do one every four to six months). We have been speaking a lot about trying to have a sort of shape, an ongoing dialog or at least transition from one service theme to another each week, rather than a melange of interesting but disconnected services. Immediately before and after my service are our Easter, Flower Communion, May Day and Mother's Day services, and I was suddenly inspired to try to do something on the Song of Solomon and the theme of sacred sensuality. I will need to figure out in one week's time where precisely I intend to go with that, so that I can get a newsletter blurb in.

After the WA meeting, I spent a couple hours driving around from one grocery store to the next, picking up food for the upcoming week. With Steve actively trying to eat healthier and me continuing to try to tweak what I'm eating, I messed around on the internet a bit trying to find some interesting things to make for lunch at work and for dinner here at home. Unfortunately, with that damn runway show in about two weeks, and the fact that I seem to have gained some 2 inches since the first show (one must remember to eat more AND exercise if one is trying to gain weight but not inches... goddamn it), I can't quite bring myself to eat much of the stuff I really wanted to try making. Oh well, maybe later. For now, there is Arugula Salad with Feta and Fresh Tomato-Balsamic Vinaigrette; Watercress, Strawberry and Sauteed Shallot Salad; Romaine Pesto and Egg-Stuffed Tomatoes; Greek Kale Salad; and Spring Panzanella on the menu for dinner this week, and I'll be eating chicken, salmon and lentil soup during lunch at work. Steve can have some of the dinners if he feels inclined to eat vegetables. (They're not that weird, I promise.)

Saturday evening was my brother-in-law Louis's birthday. Misty, Malia, Louis and I celebrated it last night by going out to Ra for sushi and then taking him to see "Watchman" (men?) I'm not sure how I feel about that movie; I liked the music and thought they worked in the whole theme of cultural change and the loss of the American dream pretty effectively, but as far as a superhero movie went... meh. Seen them before, and better. Still, I enjoyed it.

Sunday morning I was up again early (early for me on a weekend that is) for the Spirit Dancer rehearsal at church, followed by choir rehearsal. There was yet MORE rehearsal after the service, when the Heartsong or Songs for the Journey (I can't remember what name our Director of Music Ministries decided upon) group met. We're a small ensemble group that will eventually be singing at bedside for folks in hospice in groups of I think 3-5 people. I'm hoping that working with people in hospice through a somewhat more familiar and comfortable means of communication will help me transition into eventually joining the Pastoral Care group, which ministers to the needs of members of the congregation who are ill, dying or going through hard times by doing anything from providing transportation, to visiting with them, to being there when they die. I know it will be hard, and I can't quite bring myself to simply jump in, because I honestly don't know how strong I can be for others and feel I need to test the waters, if you will, in a slightly safer environment before I try something emotionally more difficult. (Hospice... safer... ha.)

After the third rehearsal for the day, there should have been gaming---Dark Herasy at my cousins' wherein I play an adept, rather than Dark Herasy with the Friday gaming group wherein I play a techpriest---but it was canceled. So, I came home, and managed to actually get some more grocery shopping done, plus laundry, dishes, and cooking for 3 lunches this week with only a short break taken to watch Appaloosa with Steve. Good movie.

And now I need to check and see if load #2 of laundry is dry yet, wrap up the chicken I just baked and go to bed.

Double chocolate stout cake with mocha ganache and dark chocolate flakes.

I deserve a raise.

However, my Mormon team lead may not be amused...

I haven't updated in a while, mostly because not much has happened. But there's enough, so I might as well get to it.

I think the last time I put anything up, I was complaining about a lack of inspiration for the Imbolc service I was in charge of on February 2nd. There's nothing like the rapid buildup of pressure to squeeze a service out of a procrastinating worship associate. I did indeed go with the "Spring is in the belly of the Mother Earth" theme, and it turned out way less lame than I thought it would, partially because, when I started writing it more or less free-style, words naturally flowed into words which led me in a direction I've already been in thoughts and conversations in the past. I ended up actually using some material from past conversations here on LJ, and even quoted Ali in my sermon. For those who are interested, you can listen to it here. Don't mind the occassional mispronounced words and the inability to speak slowly; they're normal for me ;)

In other church-related news, I have been asked to choreograph a bit for two upcoming services, and am really hoping I can encourage enough of the other Spirit Dancers to get up on Sunday for a few weeks and actually come to church to rehearse.

In non-church related news, Malia just moved back to Arizona! Her friend Abby flew to Utah, and then together they made the drive home. Aspen is of course with her. Zach is not. She is currently living back at home with our parents, is still in school (taking her classes online), and I'm helping her try to get a job at ACS. I really hope they will hire her at our location, but if not, I simply hope she can secure a job. Giant corporate grinding wheel or not, it is a good company.

Speaking of said good company, there are some strange "perks" to being employed by a large corporation. For instance, I received an email a few days ago regarding an upcoming baseball game, instructing employees to notify our team leads if we intend to attend. I of course had no intention of attending, since I hate baseball along with virtually every other sport but basketball, and when my team lead asked me if I'd be joining them, I said no. He just stared at me, and my coworkers stared at me, and I suddenly wondered if I'd said something stupid. Turns out I had; the baseball game we'll be going to is on company time and at company expense. Also, we throw little office parties for folks' birthdays (I'm baking a cake for my team's accountant, John, next Monday), we have bake sales to benefit local charities (I ate some 3 bags of cookies at work today, ugh), our managers sometimes bring in donuts and always are giving us candy (good thing I'm considering joining a karate class to get a little exercise and learn to kick people's asses), and we have an awards and incentives program that basically means we have a 2 hour party (again, on company time and at company expense) once a quarter. And some of the teams have a "team meeting" during the middle of the work day on normal business days wherein they spend some 2 hours eating lunch and taking turns presenting random, completely non-work related powerpoint presentations on random topics of their choice. Apparently this builds team morale or community or something... I want to be on THAT team; they have all the best conversations (and never seem to work).

Hmm... I can't really think of anything else. Well, there is this: my older sister Misty met a guy while shooting as an extra on some Lifetime television show, and decided he was "perfect" for me. After giving him a chance and going out on a date, I was able to determine quite clearly that he is NOT perfect for me. No way in hell. The entire night can be summed up in one sentence: I am NOT the kind of woman whose ass you pat, ever.

WTF nap?

I lay down at 6pm, meant to sleep until 8pm, and totally just woke up at 11:30pm.

This is going to do wonders for my sleep schedule...